So here I am. Another stay at home Sunday in my life to write another boring chapter about. Sundays are more of my days where I try to take in my week and the things I've dealt with and gone through and just recollect on everything. Both positives and negatives. The way Sundays were intended for to begin with I guess.
I've had a lot on my mind recently, maybe on things that aren't as heavy - but point is that they Are weighing me down a good deal. So throughout the duration of my day, I was just in my room contemplating on things. This was after finishing off the korean movie "The Last Present" which I had hoped would put tears in my eyes. But apparently that's almost impossible with dramas and supposed tearjerkers I watch nowadays... It was a good movie, but a little over dramatic on some occasions.
I've had a lot on my mind recently, maybe on things that aren't as heavy - but point is that they Are weighing me down a good deal. So throughout the duration of my day, I was just in my room contemplating on things. This was after finishing off the korean movie "The Last Present" which I had hoped would put tears in my eyes. But apparently that's almost impossible with dramas and supposed tearjerkers I watch nowadays... It was a good movie, but a little over dramatic on some occasions.
::SIGH...::
But yes. I confined myself in my room today dwelling on how much I've totally slacked with my artwork throughout my life. So after breakfast, I ran to my room and asked myself.
"What defines me as an artist?"
::scratches head::
The only answer I had in my head was what I aspire to be. And the little I could present at the moment... So I dug through my disappointing portfolio and took pictures of the pieces of artwork that I've made to represent me so far. I was in a complete haze of all of these negative emotions from personal disappointment, frustration and just a sense of not and never being good enough while digging through and piling my random pieces on my floor. There were pieces I was happy with and there were some that just were. And I realized exactly how much I've done on my own time through it all... Compared to school projects. I had a bit of a moment to take it all in. Until I decided to just sit down on my floor and just sink my head under my hands and just broke down a little bit.
This is what I have to show for myself as of now... At the start of this blog of my artwork.
I really need to pick it up.
Pick myself up.
And draw my way back up to my dream.
Afterward, I drowned myself in music through my newly organized Itunes and drew this rough self-portrait.
I consider it unfinished seeing as I don't have much of an idea for a background. Aside from an array of falling sketchbooks and pencils which I feel is a little cliche in terms of the frustration of me and my art I'm trying to present. But yes, that's me. Not exactly on the dot, but I'm happy with the tired, worried and nontheless frustrated expression I was able to get. And also the broken pencil on my ear.
I'm happy with it for now. The color is just from the contrast editing I did with the image since I just took a dim snapshot of it. It's on an 18x24 paper so I couldn't really make my scanner do justice with it...
::Shrug::
Until the next blog and art piece... Goodnight.
